The other morning I had a realization while rinsing my cereal bowl at the kitchen sink. I’d just been considering how often I’ve let my inner critic prevent me from writing. (There’s certainly a correlation between this and the infrequency of my blog postings!) My critic’s favorite line is, “Who do you think you are?” Equally effective variations include, “What could you possibly offer?” and “You’re hardly an expert!” Even though one of my favorite quotes from Marianne Williamson’s Return to Love, reminds us that we are magnificent children of God, I go in and out of the state where I allow my light to fully shine. Sure, I’ve been in that radiating place before, where I’ve felt fully connected to Spirit, but only as a visitor, not a permanent resident.
What often pulls me back from the place of begin open to, working with and as Spirit is this critical, “Who do you think you are?” voice. I shrink when this happens because I don’t believe I’m better than anyone else. That’s because I’m not. We are all Divine, of Spirit—not some more than others. We may well be at different stages of awakening to the reality of our true nature. So, really what I’ve been resisting is becoming fully awake. Just as my boys don’t want to get out of bed at 6:10 a.m. on dark, cold schooldays and don’t want me to turn on the bedroom lights, I’ve often chosen darkness.
Then it dawned on me that there isn’t an on/off switch for Spirit. Being in and of Spirit is our natural state--a state of grace. We allow self-doubt, fear, worry, ego, and all sorts of other barriers to make us feel disconnected and turned off from our spiritual nature. But behind all of those barriers is what’s really true.
What do you know to be true?
What’s true for me is that it’s time to wake up and not just to step into the light, but to be the light.
Namasté! (The Divine within me salutes the Divine within you.)